Dear 5 Pounds,

I am at a loss for words.  It's easy to break up with someone, easy to throw something away, easy to even get lost, but you....do not disappear easily.  What is your malfunction?  I have busted my butt (literally) running, lifting, stepping, dancing, starving, eating cardboard dinner, having Special K at meals, and yet, for some reason you hang on.

You are like the fly that you keep swatting at over and over yet still seems to linger around.  Like the cockroach that I thought I killed and threw in the toilet to see you 1 hour later trying to crawl out.  You are a benign desease that doesn't want to go away.

I am now asking you very politely, can you please dissolve away.  I do not need  you anymore.  The winter is going to be over soon, and I know you thought you could keep me warm, but now I will have to shed more clothes, and I see you peeking out over my pants.  I am warm enough, and my bikini will be all I need to keep me warm throughout the next 6 months.  So kindly, please go on your way.  Find another soul to torture whose skinny body could soak you up and love you for the rest of your existance.  I want you to feel appreciation, and not loathing, it's what you deserve.

But I am telling you....you are not needed around these parts.

With the kindest regards meant,

Jessica